10 Pieces Of Relationship Advice Straight From Couples Counselors
It can be difficult to navigate the intricacies of a relationship, especially when insecurities and complex feelings are involved. But everyday people like you and me have their own methods for dealing with conflicts that arise in relationships, and these methods work just as well as those found in professional counselling. In this article, we’ll go over ten pieces of relationship advice that are often heard by couples counsellors themselves, with some personal insight from Dr Roderick J. Powers, a licensed clinical psychologist
One: Don’t Expect Your Partner To Read Between The Lines
“There is no healthy way to have a relationship that is built on lies.”
It can be hard to have difficult conversations with your partner. The more time you spend fighting and struggling to get along, the less time you’re spending on actually communicating. If you want your relationship to be successful, it is important for both partners to openly communicate what they think, feel and need from each other.
Two: Acknowledging Your Own Responsibility
“When we acknowledge our own responsibility, it makes us feel better and more in control. We start to change what we focus on. It’s that simple.”
Acknowledging your own responsibility is a necessary step if you want to continue the relationship. The better you are at recognizing and owning your part in a conflict, the easier it is for the other person to do that as well.
Three: Recognizing What’s Really Holding You Back
We are all afraid of the unknown. Sometimes it may be hard to look at the bigger picture and understand what is really holding you back in your relationship. If you feel like you’re not getting the same amount of attention from your partner, are constantly arguing, or are not enjoying yourself anymore, focus on what is making your relationship suffer and figure out how to allow for a change.
“Most of us operate in crisis mode for our relationship, only giving it sincere attention when there’s a problem that needs fixing,” says Seth J. Gillihan, PhD, a clinical psychologist practicing near Philadelphia.
“But a relationship is like a garden: Even when it’s doing well, weeds can grow and overtake it.”
Four: Remember But Don’t Forget That Love Is A Choice Says Relationship Advice Counsellor
Sometimes it is easy to convince yourself that you love someone because you have done so for a long time. But, there are certain things that you need to remember when thinking about your love life. It is important to remember that this person is not a static thing and they will change in some way. It is also important to remember that love is something that you choose, just as much as this other person does.
Five: Fake It ‘Til You Make It
“Forget about how long it ‘s been. Forget about what you did wrong or what was done to you. Just get your mind off of whatever is stressing you out.” (Blaise) “Instead, pretend that everything is great and that the other person is just being difficult. This will make things seem better in the short term.
Six: Have Kindness, Yes, But Not Too Much Kindness
“It is important to remember that kindness should not be the only emotion in your relationship. If you are always kind, it could make some people feel suffocated and they might eventually start to resent you.”
There are things that you simply don’t need to do for people all the time and just because you love them doesn’t mean they should expect you to always give in to their demands. Take care of your body, mind, and soul before taking care of everyone else around you.
Seven: Set Limits On Yourself And Your Partner Is Ideal Relationship Advice
Some couples that I’ve talked with have found it helpful to set limits on themselves and their partner. They would tell the partner what behaviours they expect from the other and set time limits for when those expectations are met. For example, one couple said that if their partner wanted to spend more time at work, then they should be willing to spend more time at home doing chores or taking care of the kids.
It’s hard to set rules when you’re in the thick of things. But if you can safely remind yourself that you have limits, and your partner has limits too, then it becomes easier to stick to those boundaries and remember what is important to us both.
And Lastly
If you’re wondering what to do with your significant other, it’s highly recommended that you let them know your thoughts as soon as possible and take a step back and think about what you really want. You need to be open and honest, even if it means being vulnerable at times because honesty is the biggest key to success in a relationship.
