Orgasm Gap explained in simple words: What is it, why it happens and how can we bridge the gap?
Dr. Laurie Mintz, a professor at the University of Florida and the author of the book Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters-And How to Get It, is credited with coining the term “orgasm gap.” According to Mintz, the phrase refers to “a consistent finding in scientific literature that shows when cisgender men, or people born with pénises who identify as men, have sexual encounters with cisgender women, or people born with vagina who identify as women, the men are having substantially more orgasms than the women are.”
She cites a study of 800 college students that found that women experience orgasms 39% of the time during sex while males have them 91% of the time. “Subsequent study shows that the orgasm gap is greatest in hook-up sex and smallest in relationship sex, but it never completely closes,” Dr Mintz says.
Reasons why orgasm gap exist?
1. Lack of understanding of women’s anatomy
Understanding women’s anatomy is essential for knowing what you want and feeling confident enough to show a partner how to get it. The clitoris is generally portrayed as something that people either can’t locate or don’t comprehend.
According to Dr. Mintz, the most serious issue is our cultural ignorance about the clitoris. If you ask somebody who isn’t blushing right now what the clitoris looks like, you’re likely to get blank stares or a vague description of a little nub of skin. Except that the clitoris isn’t just a small button on the exterior of the vulva; it’s a massive inside organ made up of erectile tissue on a scale comparable to the penis. The clitoris, not the vagina, is the portion of a woman’s anatomy that enjoys the most sexual pleasure, with 8,000 nerve endings.
Understanding our anatomy and the anatomy of your partner may have a significant impact on your sexual life. Knowing your own body may give you the confidence to navigate another person around it, improving both your enjoyment and theirs.
2. Inequality in the bedroom
Dr Mintz attributes “inequality in the bedroom” to representations of “media images of sex,” particularly pornography, as well as a “cultural over-privilege of male libido and a discounting of female sexuality.”
Porn and mainstream films both present unrealistic sex scenes, which contributes to the orgasm myth.
“In the lack of scientifically realistic sex education that incorporates the clitoris and female pleasure, mainstream movies and porn depict women enjoying rapid and wonderful orgasms from intercourse alone,” she continues.
3. Lack of arousal among women
According to Mintz, women must be excited before being penetrated because otherwise, the cervix won’t retract and the vagina won’t lubricate.
“The overwhelming majority of women find that incredibly painful,” she says.
Every woman’s body responds to stimulation differently, but she is likely to be more aroused the more time a couple spends kissing, stroking, and having oral sex.
Mintz asserts that the most crucial factor is for women to be open about their preferences with their spouses and for these preferences to be taken into consideration.
We must feel free to express our needs and needs-related communication, she says.
4. Lack of Sexual Consent
“Consent is necessary for satisfying sex,” says Dr Mintz.
Women frequently have a tendency to just comply when males request sex in relationships. That isn’t consent, is it? A wife is expected to have sex anytime her husband requests it, according to a taught social convention. This statement can seem odd to some of you, yet it’s true in many societies.
Men seldom seek permission or the willingness of their partners while expressing their desires for sex.
This is what I refer to as silent or coerced consent in order to keep the spouse pleased or the atmosphere at home intact.
How can we bridge the orgasm gap?
- Recognize that sex shouldn’t be centred around intercourse or P-in-V activity.
- It’s important for women to express their preferences to their partners, as well as to educate them about the anatomy of women and the pleasures of sexual activity.
- Actively engage in sex-positive education at Omgyes, read sex-positive books, podcasts, social media handles and watch TV Shows or films that positively depict female pleasure.
- Be willing to learn about your own anatomy in order to better express yourself to your partner.
- Unlearn the shame that society has taught you about sex and orgasm.
You can follow Dr. Laurie Mintz on Instagram or visit her website www.drlauriemintz.com for more such quality content.