Swinging Back to Childhood Days

As I sat on this swing by the beach;
I was 7 again.
I lived my childhood in a flashback!
Me waiting for my turn to come,
To swing upside down.
To feel as if, I have conquered the world!
As a child,
I cried I fought, I competed, I cajoled and I waited.
All for just one turn,
to be up in the sky,
even if it’s for a short while.
It’s my friend’s sweet little garden,
and a freezing cold winter day,
me and my cute little friends,
dressed up in the warmest cutest clothes.
All packed up from tip to toe.
Acting as adults,
with not even slightest of idea
what it feels like; to be an adult.
There is a hooter in the background,
making the loudest possible noise.
We are all so annoyed,
as noise isn’t letting us talk,
About the fantasy land that exists only in our dream.
Not knowing then, that our brain could make
a noise that of a thunderclap,
a thwack, a cry for help at a volume,
we would discover only later on.
And that it would often go unnoticed!!

Anyways!!
Again back to swing.
I am waiting for my turn to come.
And now it’s my turn,
my enthusiasm at its peak,
and I take the highest possible flight,
with no fear of falling down.
I imagine myself,
flying high in the sky
with my magical wings.
Well, I did fall once, twice
and a couple of times,
but that didn’t break my spirit
of not trying again,
most importantly of not flying again.
I never took a pledge then,
of not doing something I love.
as I do now more often than less.
Those were the days when,
I wasn’t scared of being judged.
I was just scared of hurting
or being hurt by my loved ones,
(btw which I am, even today!)
for the reasons that may seem
so innocent and silly.
Back then the only struggle was
to finish the homework on time.
Back then the saddest moment was
not being called by a friend to play.
Back then people misunderstood me
only for sharing everything with my mom.
Now I get misunderstood for
not speaking out aloud.
Life in a flashback;
we are growing up.
One by one leaving the town.
Life in a flashback;
meaning and values of friendship, changed.
Life in a flashback;
experiencing grudges, hatred, failure.
Life in a flashback;
learning to look beyond self.

Life in a flashback;
choosing to distance oneself.
Life in a flashback;
feeling excruciating pain,
but keeping 180 degree smile intact.
Life in a flashback;
I am crossing the 1st corner of my lane,
my childhood spot where I played.
Thinking of people, the moments,
the memories and those good old days.
Our giggles and laughter
and fights and tears.
Every time I cross that place
I relive my childhood in a chase.

Life until recently,
As I visited my hometown,
and leaned forward to look at that swing from the window of the car,
my heartbeat stopped for a while,
there is no swing on the lawn;
there is no family in the house.
No little girls playing in the backyard.
No kids acting like adults.
My heart is heavy,
my throat is choked.
I keep quiet and move on.
Life shook me hard,
brought me back to reality.
And convinced me to accept,
that something that seemed permanent,
is long gone.
Life in a flashback
looked like a fairy tale.
For what I thought isn’t the best life,
was probably the best time of my life.

Food has come (yeah my first love),
my friends yelled.
This brings me back to present life.
With new sets of friends around.
Life is still beautiful,
changing yet beautiful.
Different, not so innocent,
less vocal yet better.
With or without,
life is going on!!
I got off the swing,
Realized, it’s been a while,
Sun is about to set.
I looked at the changing colour of the sky.
I took a deep sigh;
for I know today would be a beautiful memory tomorrow.
And I would long for the moments, which would be long gone.