The Importance Of Acceptance From The Lens Of A Woman

The Importance Of Acceptance From The Lens Of A Woman

The word acceptance is a verb that means to say yes to something or agree to something or agree to take something that somebody offers you. Recently I did a podcast on the importance of acceptance from the lens of a woman, how self-love is acceptance and shared my personal journey of acceptance of my nose.


Growing up as a young girl we all faced subtle and not so subtle hints that she has a flat nose, a pakora nose, or it’s too big for me, I was told it looked like Frontier Gandhi or it was a parrot nose.


You know what, these moments stick and they do affect one subconsciously. The trauma a young girl goes through just because Auntyji and Uncle Ji are bored and they want to fill the conversation gaps? And suddenly you are told it would be difficult for you to get married just because you aren’t fair enough or you are fat or short or you have wiry curly hair. They will give you 101 reasons. Indians or Asians are in general very judgemental and we have an opinion on everything. You know the nose I am talking about; that’s the one they stick into everyone’s business. It’s longer than Pinocchio. 


Girls and women all have to constantly battle to prove their own worth in terms of colour, the shape of their eyes, hair, body, and even in some countries the size of their feet, neck, and waist to hip ratio.


Imagine that people are here to discuss your nostrils too! I wish I could attach an emoji here but …nothing else matters, sadly. It’s a world that lays more emphasis on the physical appearance and the outer reflection. The only nose that launched a thousand ships was Cleopatras ( this is a reference to Asterix, and if you know, you know ). And the only other one that history registered was Julius Caeser who was her lover. I did the podcast just because I had two memes. One was that if I could contour my nose I would rule the world and the second one was “I think accepting your nose is the greatest form of self-love”.

Girls and women all have to constantly battle to prove their own worth in terms of colour, the shape of their eyes, hair, body, and even in some countries the size of their feet, neck, and waist to hip ratio. What about the beautiful soul that resides and beats inside and wants to be a badass entrepreneur or a businesswoman or a politician or a pilot or a master chef or just someone who wants to be or is waiting for their letter from Hogwarts? Why is the pressure to be successful? Why can’t we just be or live life simply?


The constant societal pressures weigh/measure you by the success that you have in terms of position, money, the clothes you wear, and appearances you project.


Along the way, we start trying to put ourselves in a mould to be liked to be accepted by others and more than often it is physical. Society judges us by Soorat (facial features) and not by Seerat (inner beauty). That’s why we have to believe in ourselves, and that’s why I’m writing this article on the importance of acceptance from the lens of a woman.

Boys and men can be cruel!

A listener came back and told me that growing up in school one gets used to the constant teasing, and heckling and then you try to become invisible. When you later go to university the comments get cheap, and nasty as your physical attributes are dissected one by one, head to toe, it’s sickening! And she says, ‘the boys actually put a value on what can be given to have sex with you or have a setting, and it can be done for 1.5 to 2 lakhs and the crudeness is that ‘eh kudi at ek killa di maar hai ‘. To, ‘ eh mundiayn naal gall Kardi hai, that means she can talk to me and she is available?

Which God-forsaken country and language decided this? How is it that if a girl talks to you, it means she is interested in you? Or it’s acceptable to take it that she is available? Is she a bus seat to be occupied by your tush?


Tell the girls that the snap chat filters and the standards of fashion do not dictate her worth.


All the boys here she talks about are well educated and belong to good families.

It takes one line to bring a girl’s reputation down and whatever she says no one will believe her. It’s their words against hers and more often we will take out some flimsy excuse that she wore suggestive clothes, look at her profile or she talks too much.

So, she eventually grows to accept all this, knowing that she will be judged, ridiculed, or rejected on the basis of the pattern of her physical attributes! There are of course kind men who are different from this norm, but they are a few.

Now you know why we need more spaces to discuss the importance of acceptance from the lens of a woman. It’s important for women to come out and share their stories of trauma and how it had tarnished their self-image. Making it extremely difficult to accept ourselves for who we are.

I wish in these COVID times, the world would be kinder to us. As a parent of two, all I can do is give them so much love, and kindness and be supportive so that they can come to me and be honest. Embrace them as they are, do not be judgemental, and be ready to fight their battles like a mother dragon. Tell them that the snap chat filters and the standards of fashion do not dictate her worth. Getting married, having children, and having the right khandaani Munda is not the answer to her existence. She should not be bartered that if she gets married, the nose piercing and the trips abroad will happen or she will get the designer stuff.


To all the mothers, your daughter is a part of you. Treat her now, spoil her now, let her be a princess now and also give her confidence to fly by accepting her for who she is. You, the parents are her backbones and you made the decision to have her. It was not her choice, it was yours. So own it right!


PS: Just as I finished writing this, two unnamed boys eve teased a young girl, resulting in an accident in which she succumbed to her injuries. She had recently received a four-year scholarship to the United States. In the end, she was a girl who said no, and we didn’t accept her refusal.


Ravneet Sangha Author RealShePower

About the Author

Ravneet Sangha is a readaholic, Mommy, on the move who believes in the higher presence that just balances everything. She runs an online clothing store and also a school for underprivileged kids in her village! She recently got the ladies working under a new company where they sell pickles and it’s called The Acharwallah co.


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