To someone who stopped believing in magic

I met you exactly like six months ago and not in some autumn or at some party but in all those days when this soul needed a hug and a friend. Well, let’s get honest you suck in consoling people and every time that I talk about my past I see you making a poker face and giving me some really shitty ideas.

I met you like I meet a lot of people but there was something about you that made me a question about love and life.

Ma says that in life we all need a friend if not a lover. Although I do not say this to her she is right I know now what she means.

Over the years, I have considered myself as someone’s used clothes, someone’s used laundry both untouched and dirty.

My past is so dark that I would not let anyone enter it and would rather burn in my own flame. But when I look at you I see myself in it.

I see a stubborn kid and a dreamer who is not afraid of anything. I have stopped dreaming long ago. I kept my dreams safely beside the pillow because I was afraid that it would just break and shatter me again.

Living in a strange city and making a map- sized Rotis and those burnt maggies would have been no fun! I am glad that this is no fiction because you are right here with me and for real. I think you taught me life.

You taught me that a flawed person like me can be loved and cared for. You taught me that real fun comes when you share food even if it is the last piece left! You taught me that being practical and selfish is not bad if you are a dreamer.Cause dreams are not supposed to sleep they should be lived every day.

Of all the things that you have taught me the best one is not to expect anything from anyone. I am learning to love my insecurities, my scars, and my flaws.

I am learning to live again and this time not in someone’s shadow but for myself. You know the best thing about you is the way you laugh.

I know I sound like real cliché but then you with your arched eyebrows and dimple smile had me gawking at you like a silly teenager. I think I am learning to be myself now.

I don’t regret that. I think you should laugh more. It makes me happy. You taught me that it’s okay to sing even if you sing like a toad gone mad, it’s okay to dance without music and it’s okay to love without a cause. Because in the end, we are all flawed and a little crazy.

I have not believed in magic for long but now if someone asks me that after all this while if I still believe in magic I would simply say ‘’ I do!’’From just a friend.

_{Featured image:  Fadi Xd/Unsplash}

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By Poonam Chatterjee