13 bitter learnings for people in their 20s and 30s
When you’re in your 20s and 30s, there’s a lot of pressure to get things right. You’re supposed to be an adult who knows what they want out of life and has figured out how to get there. But while this might be true for some people, it’s not always the case for everyone—and that’s okay!
One thing I’ve learned from both personal experience as well as other people around me is that what really matters isn’t whether or not we live up to some fantasy idea about adulthood, but rather how we deal with ourselves and others when things don’t go according to our expectations.
1. This is the age of “adulting” and also of being young.
You’re an adult now. You have bills to pay, taxes to file, and responsibilities that come with the territory of being an adult. Your parents can’t do everything for you anymore; it’s time for you to step up and take responsibility for yourself.
If this is your first time in this position (or if it’s been awhile), then don’t worry—you’re not alone! Everyone goes through this transition period at some point in their lives; many people find themselves feeling lost in their 20s or 30s as they try on new identities and figure out what kind of person they want their future selves to be.
2. You should learn how to move on after heartbreak and other people who didn’t treat you well.
After a breakup, you should learn how to move on. You might be tempted to get back together with your ex, but don’t. It’s not going to work out and it will only make things worse. Don’t contact them or try to find out what they’re doing—just move on as quickly as possible without feeling guilty about it!
Don’t stalk them on social media either; this is another way people can hurt each other in relationships by getting obsessed with each other (or worse: the person who broke up with them). If something happens that makes us sad or angry, we need space away from other people so we can process those emotions without having our heads filled with negative thoughts about ourselves or others who hurt us in some way. So, move on!
3. Self-care includes making sure you have time for yourself.
Self-care is important. It’s something you should always be doing, not just when your body needs it or when you feel like it.
It’s easy to forget that self-care isn’t just about taking care of yourself physically—it also includes making sure you have time for yourself mentally and emotionally. You need this space in order to think clearly, relax, recharge and recharge some more (and maybe even have some fun).
You should be able to do things that make you happy outside of work or school – whether that’s going out with friends or spending quality time with family members at home!
4. Don’t question your own sanity when you’re in a difficult relationship or friendship.
You might be in an extremely difficult relationship or friendship and you’re questioning your own sanity. Don’t let someone else’s opinion change what you believe is right for your life. There are a lot of things that can happen when people are unhappy, so don’t let it get to the point where it affects how you feel about yourself. If someone tries to convince you that something is wrong with what matters most (like how much time you spend with friends), then try setting boundaries with them about what they can expect from their lives without asking permission first—and if they won’t listen? Well…
5. Maintain healthy friendships with people who have different life experiences than you.
Maintaining healthy friendships with people who have different life experiences than you is important in your 20s, 30s and beyond. It’s good to have friends who are different from you because they provide a different perspective and can help you grow as a person. However, it’s also important that the friendship remains genuine—don’t be afraid to ask questions or share information about yourself if something feels amiss!
6. Be open to other points of view, but don’t let someone else’s opinion change what you believe is right for your life.
One common mistake people make when they’re in their 20s and 30s is that they think it’s okay to listen to anyone who says something negative about them. It’s easy for us as adults to get used to hearing this kind of thing from our friends and family members, but it can lead us down a path toward unhappiness.
There will always be people out there who have something negative to say about you—and while some may have valid reasons not only why they feel this way but also why they should stay away from contact with you, other times those same individuals might just be jealous because they know how great life looks on the outside than what really goes on inside.
7. You should set boundaries with other people about what you’re willing to do for them, especially if they’re not willing to reciprocate.
- If someone takes advantage of your time or space, ask yourself if it’s worth the hassle. If the answer is no, then tell them so—and that’s it! There are no hard feelings here.
- Set boundaries with other people who don’t respect your feelings or desires. This doesn’t mean being rude or disrespectful; it means making sure that what comes out of your mouth doesn’t offend others in any way (for example by using offensive language).
8. Not everyone will like you, but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.
When people don’t like you, it can be hard to know what to do.
But let me tell you: it’s not about you. It’s about them — and there’s nothing wrong with that!
People are always going to have different opinions and preferences than yours, but this doesn’t make them bad people or mean they’re not worthy of friendship (or anything else). In fact, many of the people who feel most comfortable around other people are those who don’t take things personally — because they realize that everyone has their own reasons for doing things in life and even if someone doesn’t like something as much as you do or think it’s silly at first glance (like wearing printed jeans), chances are they’ll change their minds over time when exposed to other people in similar situations.
9. Even if everything seems like it’s going wrong, don’t lose faith that things can get better.
This is the most important rule of all. You’re going to be tempted to give up, and it’s natural for you to feel like your life is falling apart—but don’t! If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being in my 20s and 30s so far, it’s that even when everything seems like it’s going wrong (and let me tell you: sometimes our lives do), things can still get better. It just takes time and patience (which may seem like an impossible feat right now). You don’t have to look at every little thing as a problem or disappointment; instead, try looking at each situation as an opportunity for growth.
10. When you’re trying to focus on a new goal, it’s helpful to be around people who share the same vision as you.
One of the most important things to remember when you’re trying to reach a new goal is that it’s always going to be hard. You can’t do it alone, and nobody will understand what you’re going through unless they’ve been there themselves. It’s also helpful for everyone involved if they share similar visions as your own, but even more so if they’ve been through similar situations before and can give advice on how best to handle them.
It’s important that everyone around you understands this idea: there are no shortcuts in life and no easy way out of challenges whether those challenges are external or internal—and if anything has taught me anything about life thus far (and I hope it has), it’s that nothing comes easily!
11. Some parts of your life will fall into place while your career is still figuring itself out, and that’s okay.
If you’re in your 20s and 30s, there are some things that will fall into place while your career is still figuring itself out. You might not have everything figured out at once. And that’s okay!
You can be a little messy and still be okay—or even better, have messy parts of your life that are more important than others. It’s also okay if one area of your life doesn’t seem to fit for now, but maybe it will later on down the line when another part does become clearer or more concrete in its importance to you.
12. It’s important to feel good about earning money without shame or embarrassment.
Money is an important part of life, but it’s also important to feel good about earning money without shame or embarrassment.
Many people don’t save for retirement and other things because they’re embarrassed about having too much money. But this can be fixed by changing your view on how you think about money: instead of seeing it as something that belongs only to others (i.e., “The rich”), see it as something that belongs to everyone (i.e., “Our community”). If you have enough savings for emergencies and retirement, then you’re taking care of yourself—and all those around you!
13. You should start saving early rather than spending frivolously because you’ll be glad later that you did.
The key to saving early is not to wait until you have a lot of money to start saving. Instead, start saving as soon as possible and make sure that it’s something that’s important to you. If you’re like most people in their 20s and 30s, then your first instinct will be: “I want this new pair of shoes!” But if they’re really expensive, maybe think twice before handing over your bank card.
So, while you’re still young and living in your 20s and 30s, think about how to navigate these social rules. If you don’t know how to do it yet, that’s okay—but keep trying! It’ll be worth the wait when you feel more comfortable with yourself and able to express yourself in all social situations.