10 Things Mothers Should Stop Feeling Guilty For: Embrace Your Choices and Let Go of the Guilt
Can you relate to any of the following – feeling guilty because you don’t have enough time, guilt that your children are not behaving in a manner that’s appropriate for their age, guilt about how much money you spend on your children? If so, this article is for you! This list will help you gain self-confidence without feeling bad about spending time with your family and give more appreciation to the things that really matter. Also Read: 3 Ways to Cope With Guilt
Things to stop feeling guilty about
As mothers, we can sometimes put too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect parents. It’s hard to stop feeling guilty for things that are out of our control. Here are ten things that mothers should stop feeling guilty about!
1. Not being the perfect mom
Some mothers feel guilty for not being the perfect mom, but in reality, it does not exist. Some mothers also feel guilty for not doing enough or taking care of their kids, but that is just because they’ve taken on too much responsibility. Mothers are human and sometimes they’re going to make mistakes, so stop feeling guilty for being a mother.
2. Not having enough time for yourself
One of the things that mothers often feel guilty about is not having enough time for themselves. It is important to realize that it is okay for moms to take moments for themselves. Mothers should schedule time for activities outside of their families, such as exercise or a hobby. This way, they have something to look forward to and will not feel guilty about doing activities away from their children
3. Expecting too much of yourself
There is a lot of pressure on mothers to be perfect. As she carries this weight, it can make her feel guilty for not doing more and being able to do more. There comes a time when you have to stop feeling guilty for expecting too much of yourself. You have to find the balance between being a good mother and also finding time for yourself.
4. Not doing enough for your children
Moms should stop feeling guilty for not doing enough to raise their children. This guilt can lead to frustration, which can also lead to increased levels of stress that have negative effects on the mother’s health. The guilt also takes away mothers’ freedom and ability to be with their family. Mothers, stop the guilt trap.
5. Not going out as much as you like
Mothers often feel guilty about not spending as much time with their children as they would like. This is only natural, but it’s important to understand that you need to make time for yourself. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your child is to spend quality time doing something that you enjoy.
6. Spending too much time with the kids (aka hovering)
There are a lot of emotions that come with raising children. One of them is when we’re feeling guilty for spending too much time with the kids. It’s easy to feel like you’re not spending enough time with your children, but shouldn’t mothers stop feeling guilty for caring for their babies?
7. Being too strict with your children and not disciplining them appropriately
Culture and society have changed, but that doesn’t mean mothers need to change the way they care for their children. Mothers should still be firm when teaching their children about the consequences of behaviour, which includes not feeling too guilty about being strict.
8. Using love as a reward instead of praise or gifts
Mothers tend to feel guilty when they give their children love as a reward instead of giving them monetary gifts as a reward. This is because mothers believe that the children should be getting more than just what they need from their parents. They should be getting the best from mom and dad, not just the necessities such as food and shelter.
9. Prioritising your career over your child
Mothers often feel guilty when they prioritise their careers over their children, but it is important to keep your career on the front burner. A mother who is happy and fulfilled in her career is better equipped to give her children what they need, while still enjoying a fulfilling life.
I know that it can be hard but as my mother used to always say “you should never regret doing something because of what you might have missed.”
10. Choosing to not want any more children is also fine
Mothers are often told to feel guilty if they don’t want more children, but this is not always the case. There can be many reasons why a woman may choose to not have more kids and choosing to not want any more children is perfectly fine.
In other words, whether you decide to have one, two or more children, deciding to stop at the age of 40 does not make you selfish or bad. If you want to focus on your career, your partner and other people in your life it is perfectly fine for you to choose that path. Plus if you are happy with how many children you have, there’s nothing wrong with that.
Final Thought
Guilt can be a powerful emotion, but it can also be destructive. We often see guilt in the parenting realm as mothers feeling guilty for taking time away from their children, or not spending enough time with them. Mothers also frequently feel guilt because they are so busy, and don’t have time to devote to their children. This guilt is misguided. When we use guilt to motivate ourselves and our children, we’re actually setting ourselves up for failure. Guilt does not work, and moms should stop feeling guilty about all sorts of things that don’t matter when it comes to the well-being of their children.
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