Indifferent: A Short Story About The Consequences Of Bullying
A Facebook post that Bianca had kept hidden so that “only she” could see it was what incriminated the bullies in court. I don’t remember the exact details. But it was something like:
“Okay Ashley, Tamba, Bambi, & Jessica. You win. I’ll go kill myself like I know you have been begging me to do. No one else calls me Miss Ernest’s “pet” or accuses me of being “sexual” with her. Your Tumblr page will go viral after this, which is all I know you four care about. I know that when I finally end my life, your torturing will finally end. Tamba, I’m sorry we could never be friends. I hated you for how you used to blackmail me, but I’ll never forget when you were actually nice to me. Ashley, I hate you for convincing me that I am truly worthless. Bambi & Jess…go eat shit. I hate you both too. I hope you are slapped thousands of times more than I ever was. To my best friend…I am sorry, I can’t go on any longer. Live on for me. To my parents…I know you tried. I’m sorry I’m an embarrassment. Know that nothing is your fault. The girls are right: I really am a waste of space & you will all be better off without me.”
I remember the reactions of people in the courtroom. The image attached to Bianca’s Facebook post was a screenshot of Ashley messaging Bianca that she would always be there to make sure she “knew her place” at school and that she shouldn’t “waste her time reporting them all to the school” because they were “important people”. The parents of all of the girls looks very uncomfortable, but also angry. Ashley’s parents were disgusted and didn’t even want to look at their own daughter. As the Prosecution read Bianca’s post, the parents would all periodically cross their arms or legs and look back and forth within the courtroom, as if they couldn’t tolerate listening to a dead girl’s last words any longer and they wanted to dive back into their privileged lives and forget about everything.
Ashley clenched her jaw in anger but swallowed, knowing she could say nothing. Bambi and Jessica looked uncomfortable and fidgeted in the courtroom. Tamba cried, especially when the part about her was read in court. Travis looked extremely regretful and distant. I look back on that memory and wonder if he was the only one wanted to take back all he had said and done to Bianca in that moment. At the time, I was still angry that he had called Bianca a “sweetheart” and didn’t think of that until long after our school fight.
When the message to me was read, I started to tear up. Those words would haunt me forever.
The last line addressing her family was when Bianca’s mother wailed in grief. She had to be escorted outside to calm down. Bianca’s father could barely keep a straight face as his face reddened and his tears leaked from his eyes. I still check in with Bianca’s parents from time to time, my parents and hers have become closer friends in this tragedy that has brought them all together.
My own parents tell me whenever I break down that “nothing was my fault.” It doesn’t change how I feel, but it relieves the guilt temporarily. My therapist tells me that I will forgive myself someday, but I don’t know.
After that final piece of damning evidence, the jury deliberated for about 30 minutes and then the girls of the gang were all found guilty of indirect manslaughter. Travis was found innocent because he wasn’t involved in the cyberbullying that drove her to her final act. The local media made his innocent verdict a sensational news story for week after the trial. Once reporters were done harassing Travis and his family, the scandal was seemingly forgotten about.
Tiffany, Tamba, Bambi, and Ashley were each sentenced to 7 years in jail for indirect manslaughter. I hardly blinked. It was far less than they deserved, but it was good enough for me. Articles I read on the internet claimed that without the Facebook post from Bianca, they would have gotten six months in jail without parole. Despite the “hard to listen to” messages to all of us, I was glad she did that.
My therapist mentioned the other day that I should be glad that these “young women” would be getting the mental help they clearly needed, even if it was in jail. Part of me doubts they will take any advice. Some of the girls probably still feel a sense of “injustice”. In fact, some of their lawyers had even dared to say in court: “childish teasing has put their lives and well-being in peril.” The only person I give any feeling of sympathy for is towards Tamba. And it’s only because she cried. If she hadn’t had stolen Bianca’s wallet, I would be her pen pal for the next 7 years to honor Bianca. But her deception to my best friend was inexcusable. Not as bad as some of the other girls, but she didn’t deserve me as a pen pal to “redeem” herself. My therapist periodically discusses the possibility of me reaching out to any of the girls, but I honestly don’t see the point. I want to move on with my life as far as I can and forget them.
The only person I would, and still do, consider reaching out to is Travis. I can’t give up on him, even if I know he still hasn’t changed.
