10 People and I discuss things we did in a relationship that we now deeply regret
Relationships are great learning opportunities. Sometimes, the fall of a relationship and the regrets you have from it can teach you what you need to know about yourself.
I was in a relationship for two years. It was a very deep, emotional, and intense relationship. At the time, I thought I knew everything there was to know about love and relationships. I was completely wrong.
During our two years together, I learned a lot about myself. I learned how to trust someone else with my heart and soul. I also learned how to be vulnerable and open up to them.
In hindsight, I should have known that our relationship wouldn’t last because we had different goals and aspirations. But at the time, I was so blinded by love that I didn’t see it coming. Now, looking back, I can see that it was one of the best things that ever happened to me – but at the time, it felt like a nightmare!
If someone asks me what I regretted the most about my relationship it has to be not speaking up sooner when I had different doubts about our relationship. At first, my doubts were tiny, but over time they grew until they became huge problems. I should have spoken to my partner about my concerns, but I was too scared to do so.
Nevertheless, here’s a fascinating Reddit thread in which people shared their deepest regrets from relationships. It’s a fantastic insight at some topics on which I’m sure I could reflect and I hope you too find it useful.
People discuss things they did in a relationship that they now deeply regret:
1. “I didn’t cut contact with my ex (although he eventually just stopped responding), so I didn’t really get over him. Thankfully, we ended up getting back together for good because i could not seem to cut contact for the life of me LOL.”
2. “Married him in the fall and he left for training for a new job around the holidays and started cheating right away. We had been together for 12 years… He fessed up in the spring and now we are getting divorced! Edits for everyone who suggested therapy: “Fessed up,” is in the incorrect wording, he announced he no longer loved me, refused to try couples therapy and moved across the country 48 hours later with his AP.
So yes marrying him and wasting my entire college years and all my twenties caring and loving, on top of financially supporting a man who couldn’t even give me the chance to attempt therapy has left me mad and feeling like I wasted too much time on him. As a person I could never trust someone who has betrayed me in such a manner.”
3. “I’ve been free for more than 10 years. I avoid aggressive men like the plague till today. It takes so much strength to leave. Probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. But I am free now. Starting over is actually amazing and freeing and I found my real self again.”
4. “Giving too much, and ignoring the fact I was receiving too little.”
5. “The last 6 months of my relationship were totally one sided; I put in all the effort and he had all the power. Although it was tough, I’m glad he broke up with me because I deserve someone who will put in an equal amount of effort.”
6. “Being petty. ‘If she doesn’t call, why should I call?’ ‘If she doesn’t show any effort, why should I show effort?’ etc. Instead of clearly communicating our expectations and/or desires in a relationship, we made it a contest of who ‘won’ more arguments. An obvious recipe for disaster but I only learned the lesson after it was already over.”
7. “Trusting him when my gut said not to.”
8. “Settling for someone ‘nice’ instead of someone I genuinely liked/ was attracted to.”
9. “Yep. The only regret I’ve ever had is staying too long.”
10. “Hardest thing to do was break the cycle. Cut contact.”
I hope this thread was useful to you in some way, and before I go, I’d like to share my own little insight.
Whether your breakup was caused by your partner not being open to change or simply by their inability to communicate effectively, taking the time to reflect on what went wrong can help you move on in a healthier way.
Relationship breakups can be difficult, but they are also an opportunity for growth. So keep that in mind as you go through them – remember that they are also teaching moments!