How to Cope With Grief When It Feels Impossible to Move On

Grief is a universal yet deeply personal experience, a heavy weight that settles in the heart when we lose someone or something we cherish. It’s not just sadness; it’s a complex tapestry of emotions—shock, anger, guilt, despair, and even moments of fleeting peace—that can feel overwhelming and unpredictable. In the wake of tragedies like a recent air crash, where lives are lost suddenly and publicly, grief can ripple through families, communities, and even strangers who feel the weight of such a profound loss. This article is a gentle guide to understanding grief, exploring ways to cope, sharing authentic stories of resilience, and offering resources to support you or someone you love through this tender journey.

What Is Grief? Understanding Its Depth and Aftereffects

Grief is the emotional, physical, and spiritual response to loss. It’s not confined to the death of a loved one—though that’s often its most intense form. It can stem from losing a relationship, a job, a home, or even a sense of safety, as many feel after a tragedy like an air crash. Grief doesn’t follow a neat timeline or a universal script. It’s messy, nonlinear, and unique to each person.

The aftereffects of grief can touch every part of your life:

• Emotional: You might feel numb, angry, guilty, or profoundly sad. Moments of joy can feel jarring, followed by waves of sorrow.
• Physical: Grief can manifest as fatigue, insomnia, loss of appetite, or even physical pain, like a tightness in your chest. As noted in The New York Times, grief isn’t just psychological—it affects the body, sometimes in ways we don’t fully understand.
• Cognitive: Concentration may falter, and decision-making can feel impossible. You might replay memories or “what-ifs” endlessly.
• Spiritual: Some question their faith or find solace in it, while others grapple with the meaning of life and death.

In the context of a recent air crash, the suddenness of the loss can amplify these effects. Families may face the added pain of public scrutiny, unanswered questions, or the inability to say goodbye. The collective grief of a community mourning such an event can feel both isolating and unifying, as people search for ways to process the tragedy.

The Uniqueness of Grief: No Right or Wrong Way

Grief is as individual as a fingerprint. While some may find comfort in sharing memories, others may need solitude. Cultural, spiritual, and personal backgrounds shape how we grieve. For example, in some Indian traditions, mourning involves specific rituals like the 13-day shraddha ceremonies, which provide structure and community support. In contrast, Western approaches might emphasize therapy or support groups. Neither is better or worse—just different.

The idea of “stages of grief” (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) popularized by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross is often misunderstood as a linear process. In reality, these stages are fluid, and not everyone experiences them all—or in order. Some may feel acceptance one day and anger the next. Others, like those grieving an air crash, might feel stuck in shock due to the abrupt nature of the loss. As HelpGuide.org notes, “There’s no right or wrong way to grieve.”

Authentic Stories of Grief and Resilience

Real stories remind us that grief, though painful, can lead to growth and healing. Here are two authentic accounts:

1. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Journey: After her father’s sudden death in 2020, the acclaimed novelist wrote Notes on Grief, describing grief as a physical experience—pounding the floor, her heart racing. She found solace in writing, which helped her process the embodied pain of loss. Her story resonates with those who feel grief in their bodies, especially after unexpected tragedies.
2. Nora McInerny’s Path Through Humor and Storytelling: After losing her husband Aaron to brain cancer in 2014, Nora McInerny, a writer and podcaster, channeled her grief into her memoir It’s Okay to Laugh (Crying Is Cool Too) and her podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking. She embraced humor, sharing funny memories of Aaron, and created the Hot Young Widows Club to connect with others. Her approach shows how storytelling and community can transform pain, offering inspiration for those mourning the Air India victims to find light in small moments.

In the aftermath of an air crash, stories like that of the families of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 (2014) and the recent tragic Air India Flight AI171 crash in Ahmedabad, India, on June 12, 2025 highlight collective grief. Many families found comfort in support groups, where they connected with others who understood their unresolved pain. Some created memorials or advocated for aviation safety, channeling grief into purpose.

How to Cope with Grief: A Step-by-Step Guide

Coping with grief is not about “getting over” it but learning to carry it with grace. Here’s a compassionate guide to navigating grief, with practical solutions and mindset shifts:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

• What to Do: Allow yourself to feel whatever arises—sadness, anger, guilt, or even relief—without judgment. Write in a journal, cry, or talk to a trusted friend.
• Why It Helps: Suppressing emotions can prolong pain. As Mind.org.uk suggests, “It’s normal for grief to have a big impact on our lives.”
• Mindset Shift: Remind yourself that all emotions are valid. They don’t define you but are part of your healing.

2. Practice Self-Care

• What to Do: Prioritize sleep, eat nourishing foods, and engage in gentle exercise like walking or yoga. Try relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation.
• Why It Helps: Physical health supports emotional resilience. HelpGuide.org emphasizes that “when you feel healthy physically, you’ll be better able to cope emotionally.”
• Mindset Shift: View self-care as an act of kindness to yourself, not a luxury.

3. Seek Connection

• What to Do: Lean on friends, family, or support groups. Share memories of your loved one or simply sit in silence with someone who cares. Online communities can also offer solace.
• Why It Helps: Connection reduces isolation. UNICEF Armenia notes that face-to-face support is vital for healing.
• Mindset Shift: Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

4. Create Rituals

• What to Do: Light a candle, visit a special place, or hold a memorial. In India, rituals like tarpan can honor the deceased. For air crash victims, creating a memory box with photos or writing letters can be healing.
• Why It Helps: Rituals provide structure and meaning. UNICEF Armenia highlights that healthy rituals aid the grieving process.
• Mindset Shift: Rituals are a way to keep your loved one’s memory alive, not to say goodbye.

5. Find Creative Outlets

• What to Do: Write, paint, sew, or cook something meaningful.
• Why It Helps: Creativity channels emotions constructively. PositivePsychology.com notes that expressive arts enhance resilience.

6. Seek Professional Support

• What to Do: If grief feels overwhelming, consult a therapist or counselor. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help manage intense emotions. In the U.S., you can self-refer to talking therapies via the NHS.
• Why It Helps: Professionals offer tools to navigate complicated grief, especially after sudden losses like an air crash. HelpGuide.org describes grief counseling as a way to gain insights and adapt.
• Mindset Shift: Therapy is a safe space to explore your pain, not a sign of failure.

7. Embrace Humor and Joy

• What to Do: Watch a comedy, share funny memories, or engage in hobbies. Nora McInerny’s memoir It’s Okay to Laugh shows how humor can coexist with grief.
• Why It Helps: Laughter releases tension and fosters hope. PsychCentral.com suggests humor can bring temporary relief.
• Mindset Shift: Feeling joy doesn’t betray your loved one—it honors their life.

8. Reframe Your Perspective

• What to Do: Reflect on what you’ve learned from the loss or how it’s shaped you. Focus on gratitude for the time you had with your loved one.
• Why It Helps: Cognitive reframing builds resilience. PositivePsychology.com describes it as replacing negative thoughts with constructive ones.
• Mindset Shift: Grief can coexist with growth. You’re not moving on but moving forward.

9. Honor Your Loved One

• What to Do: Volunteer, start a scholarship, or advocate for change, like MH370 families did. Plant a tree or share their stories.
• Why It Helps: Action gives purpose to pain. GriefShare.org encourages honoring loved ones to move forward.
• Mindset Shift: Their legacy lives through your actions.

10. Be Patient with Yourself

• What to Do: Accept that grief has no timeline. Take one day—or one moment—at a time.
• Why It Helps: Patience prevents self-judgment. MentalHealth.org.nz reminds us that “grieving and healing takes as long as it takes.”
• Mindset Shift: Healing is a journey, not a destination.

The Way Ahead: Embracing a New Normal

Grief doesn’t end, but it evolves. Over time, the sharp edges soften, and you learn to integrate the loss into your life. After an air crash, this might mean finding ways to honor victims while advocating for safety or supporting others. The “growing around grief” model from Cruse Bereavement Support suggests that grief doesn’t shrink, but your life grows around it, making space for new experiences.

A mindset change is key: instead of fighting grief, embrace it as a testament to love. As Megan Devine writes in It’s OK That You’re Not OK, grief isn’t something to fix but something to live with. This shift allows you to find meaning, whether through spiritual beliefs, helping others, or cherishing memories.

Resources and Helplines

Below are authentic resources and helplines for grief support in the USA, UK, Australia, and India. These organizations offer compassionate, professional assistance.

USA

• GriefShare: Support groups with videos and discussions for healing. Find a group at www.griefshare.org or call 800-395-5755.
• The Compassionate Friends: Support for bereaved parents and families. Helpline: 877-969-0010 or www.compassionatefriends.org.
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: For those struggling with grief-related suicidal thoughts. Call 988 or visit www.988lifeline.org.
• American Psychological Association: Find a psychologist at www.apa.org.

UK

• Cruse Bereavement Support: Face-to-face, phone, and online support. Helpline: 0808 808 1677 or www.cruse.org.uk.[](https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/bereavement/support-and-self-care/) (http://www.cruse.org.uk.[](https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/bereavement/support-and-self-care/))
• Child Bereavement UK: Support for grieving children or parents. Helpline: 0800 02 888 40 or www.childbereavementuk.org.
• Sands: Support for baby loss. Helpline: 0808 164 3332 or www.sands.org.uk.
• Mind: Mental health support, including grief. Helpline: 0300 123 3393 or www.mind.org.uk.

Australia

• Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement: Counseling and support groups. Helpline: 1800 642 066 or www.grief.org.au.
• Lifeline Australia: Crisis support, including grief. Call 13 11 14 or visit www.lifeline.org.au.
• SIDS and Kids: Support for sudden infant death and miscarriage. Helpline: 1300 308 307 or www.rednose.org.au.
• Beyond Blue: Mental health support. Helpline: 1300 22 4636 or www.beyondblue.org.au.

India

• Sanjivini Society for Mental Health: Counseling and crisis support in Delhi. Helpline: 011-4076 9002 or www.sanjivinisociety.org.
• Vandrevala Foundation: 24/7 mental health helpline. Call 9999 666 555 or visit www.vandrevalafoundation.com.
• AASRA: Suicide prevention and grief support. Helpline: 022-2754 6669 or www.aasra.info.
• 1Life: Crisis intervention and counseling. Helpline: 78930 78930 or www.1life.org.in.

Books and Online Resources

• It’s OK That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine: A compassionate guide challenging grief myths.
• The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion: A memoir on sudden loss.
• HelpGuide.org: Free articles on coping with grief. www.helpguide.org.[](https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss) (http://www.helpguide.org.[](https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss))
• The Good Grief Trust: UK-based resources and stories. www.thegoodgrieftrust.org.[](https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/bereavement/support-and-self-care/) (http://www.thegoodgrieftrust.org.[](https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/bereavement/support-and-self-care/))

A Final Note of Comfort

To those grieving after the recent air crash or any loss, know that your pain is seen and valid. Grief is love with nowhere to go, but it can find expression in memories, rituals, and acts of kindness. You are not alone, and there is no timeline for healing. As you navigate this journey, hold space for both sorrow and hope. The world may feel dim now, but with time, support, and self-compassion, you can find light again—not to replace what was lost, but to illuminate the path forward.

If you need immediate help, reach out to a helpline or trusted person. Your story, like those of Chimamanda, Jennifer, and countless others, is one of resilience. You are stronger than you know, and healing, though slow, is possible.

This article is dedicated to all who grieve, with deepest respect for those affected by recent tragedies.